League News 2005 Summer News - Random Notes from a Short, White Jewish Guy 

Volume seven from the Short White Jewish guy

By Marc Brafman (and if you want, you can email Brafman at mbrafman@sportingnews.com)

Ok... To set the record straight, I forgot to write Random Notes last week but it wasn't for the lack of wanting to make fun of myself. With that said, here are two weeks worth of random notes!

  • Let's get it out of the way. I am just happy that I didn't really hurt myself when I fell over the fence in left field. I wasn't worried about my health or my performance in the game, but Shana would KILL me if I got hurt again playing softball.
  • Like the rest of you, I wish there was a video of me falling over the fence. I could send it to America's Funniest Home Video's and make some big bucks.
  • What kind of weird game is Dom playing with the interns? First, there was Mike "Mini Zim" Snodgrass. But that was nothing compared with Mini Stelton and Mini Cortes (whom I hear Paul has already twice tried to spoon with in the bullpen during Patrick's late-night shifts). Something strange is happening here. Check out Michael's door to see for yourself.
  • Just an observation. Summer Sanders is a big time hottie!!!
  • Now I know how Dave Miley feels. I made my captain's debut last week and we lost both games. Welcome back, Justin.
  • You know it's time to get a life when Bernard calls you at home on Wednesday night to tell you he found a funny picture on the internet. (It was a good pic, though)
  • Brafman's soapbox Rant of the Week: As some of you may know, Shana and I have been to a lot of weddings over the last couple of years. Now, some of our friends are starting to have kids. But before they do, they must tell us that, quote, "we are trying to get pregnant." Which is just like saying, "Hey, we're having more sex than you right now." Why do we need to know this? Just tell me when you're pregnant, not how you got there. On the other hand, when Shana and I start planning a family, you can bet your ass that I'll be telling all of you about it.
  • Just finished watching that show Teammates on ESPN. I can't watch Stu Scott anymore. He sucks. Period.
  • Best line of the night was Wheeler's comparison of the D-Jock's incessant chirping at the ups to Rasheed Wallace.
  • How do we turn four DP's and still lose?
  • Did you hear that 95-year-old man recently ran a 100-yard dash in 24 seconds? Will the Race and Sports Book take bets on whether Bobby Z, Mittelstadt, or Joey could beat that? This is the type of bet that must be made.
  • Last week, the lovely Lindsay Coppock showed up at the network and I don't know which reaction was funnier... Tony guiding her around and introducing her around like a proud boyfriend (like he has a chance!) or Bernard fumbling his introduction. Either way, she handled herself very well.
  • Go see the new Batman movie. It's pretty good.
  • What ever happened to Judge Reinhold?
  • Here's another situation where I can figure out the funniest part of the story... The fact CLTV keeps putting Arnie on the air, the fact Arnie talks about going on CLTV all the time, or the fact that no one in downtown Chicago gets CLTV?
  • Has there ever been a cooler former NFL QB than Snake Stabler?
  • The weekly Lindsay Lohan report: She's been making the rounds on Letterman, the View etc. to promote her new movie "Herbie: Fully Loaded." I wonder what Disney thinks about the fact that she looks good in the movie poster (long red hair and full figure), but she looks horrible during these appearances (blonde hair and skinny). I need to know this stuff.
  • Is it just me, or when Ed grows his beard does he not start to look like a winger on the Chicago Wolves?
  • How bad does that new Rob Thomas NBA song suck? Of course, I'm sure Stelton already has the CD.
  • Can I be the first to say that we should retire our Red Auerbach numbers? Let's let the man go down gracefully….. ahhrhhhrhrhhh.. sorry, I was clearing my throat.
  • Why in the world does Comcast show White Sox-Cubs batting practice? Who watches this?
  • One of these days we will beat Hung (or Han) and the rest of the UN bunch. This much I am sure of.
  • When did Chet turn into Johnny Cash? Did you see his outfit last Thursday?
  • Are they still having Popsicle socials out back???

    See you next week in Random Notes!


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