League News 2005 Summer News - Random Notes from a Short, White Jewish Guy 

Volume three from the Short White Jewish guy

By Marc Brafman (and if you want, you can email Brafman at mbrafman@sportingnews.com)

Lets get 'em next week. I think we're one good game away from turning it around this year. I bet it will be this week. And now, some Random Notes...

  • After playing basketball with George Dwyer last night, I think his new nickname should be the "human heat pump" for the amount of sweat he creates.
  • Speaking of nicknames, if Mike Hargrove was known as the "Human Rain Delay," then Bobby Z should be called the "Human Instant Replay" because everything he does (hitting, running, layups, etc.) looks like he is moving in slow motion
  • What do you think the ratings are for ESPN's celebrity bowling?
  • A quick stat for ya: Patrick has gone to three Rangers/White Sox games over the past two seasons. In those games, the Rangers have not scored a single run.
  • Speaking of Patrick, it's officially the end of an era on Chicago's North Side. That's right, Sporting News Radio's favorite couple is breaking up. Paul is moving in with his girlfriend leaving Patrick all alone with his thoughts and their immense Liberace collection.
  • The good news is that with Bobby Z moving in with Korney, there will be a new couple to tease and mock. Bobby already loves teasing Dave about the shirts he wears.
  • From the "Eye in the Sky" department: While Bernard continues to deny it, there is little doubt in my mind that he was, in fact, spotted with a light saber in the parking lot of the Star Wars: Episode III midnight showing.
  • It's good to know that when Kerry is out we can put Matt out there and still find a pitcher who throws strikes.
  • How bad are the Reds right now? They just became the second team in history to blow leads of MORE than four runs... TWICE in one week... in the 9th inning BOTH TIMES!!! Way to go Danny Graves.
  • I hate teams that go around the horn. Last time I looked this was beer league softball not Yankee Stadium
  • The best quote from last week's game was Stelton's description of how Kevin Wheeler must "jump" into that white uniform he occasionally wears.
  • I didn't believe that besides being a smooth dresser, Tony also was a doctor. That is the only way to explain why he wasn't at our game last week.
  • Next time we need a sub, let's check the bullpen where Doug sits all day? Nothing against Justin's friend, but Doug can hit and the way we've been going, we need all the bats we can get.
  • Is it any wonder that on the day of the first Cubs/Sox game Joey was wearing a gray and black shirt?
  • Hey everybody... It's spring football! Yeah buddy! Aeeehhhh Boy... Whoooohooo!!!
  • How come other teams can drop bloop hits at will between our fielders, yet, we hit rockets all over the place right at people?
  • TIVO alert: Lindsay Lohan hosted SNL last weekend. Of course, in light of her dramatic weight loss, she might not be worth watching anymore.
  • How come we can't work in a building that has working toilets? And why aren't we more upset about this?
  • I hope this week marked the end of the steroids hearings. I don't like watching them and I don't think they have accomplished that much. And doesn't Congress have better things to do?
  • If you missed the OC this year, shame on you! If you grew up watching 90210, this show is for you. It has it all bad acting, dumb plot lines. What else on this side of an Ian Ziering sighting could you ask for?

    That's all for this week. What??? You don't like them?? Well, FUCK this... I'm OUT of here!!!!


  • Copyright © 2005 The Legends.