League News 2005 Summer News - Random Notes from a Short, White Jewish Guy 

Volume two from the Short White Jewish guy

By Marc Brafman (and if you want, you can email Brafman at mbrafman@sportingnews.com)

Week two is here in the world of Random Notes...

The immortal Ray Searage

  • It's been a couple days, but I think I finally have feeling back in my face and hands. Now we all know what it was like to play at Candlestick in April.
  • Despite the outcome, my favorite play of the week was the tailor-made 6-4-3 DP that Justin, Bobby Z. and Ed turned. Why? That's beyond me.
  • It's good to see Wheeler hitting the ball. Mr. Fence and Mr. Water bottle would like to thank him.
  • Did anyone notice the fine mustache on the 2nd baseman in the late game? It sure made me long for the days of Ray Searage.
  • Watching Kevin fall down in slow motion was like watching film of that old guy take the cannon ball in the stomach -- painful, yet funny.
  • I don't care what you guys say. There is nothing wrong with bringing popcorn to the movies. Why pay more when you can bring it with you?
  • An amazing statistics just flashed across the TV. Tiger has made 142 straight cuts. Behind him at second is Ernie Els with 19. (Editor's Note: Braf wrote this BEFORE Tiger missed the cut this past weekend. So he's either good at jinxing people or he's completely oblivious.)
  • Is it possible for Jason Whitlock to write anything that doesn't have to do with race?
  • According to the Lindsay Lohan web site, it seems her friends have been stealing her money, music and booze. My question is how does a 19-year old get booze in the first place? I don't get it.
  • If no one is watching the west coast NBA Playoff games that end at 1:30 AM, does that mean they never really happened?
  • Why doesn't the NBA focus more on a developmental league instead of just yapping about an age limit? If they had a true minor league system, it wouldn't matter how young the players are.
  • More from the Paul and Patrick files... Last Saturday, I was out with Paul and Rick Ballou when Patrick and his three buddies showed up before the first U2 show. Patrick took one look at the t-shirt Paul was wearing and said that he liked it. Paul replied, "You should like it. It's yours." Remember, as Seinfeld once said, living with your "partner" increases your wardrobe. You two make this way too easy for me, you really do. (The fact that Paul bought the complete first season of Full House on DVD doesn't help.)
  • I don't think I've ever seen a player on the field that has more softball gear on at one time than Bobby Z.
  • Forget the bathroom in Tampa, Bernard will have a hard time controlling himself in the movie theater on Wednesday night when Yoda brandishes his light saber for the first time.
  • Imagine you are an intern on your first day here at Sporting News Radio. While Dom is introducing you, Chet's first four questions for you are... A) Have hit puberty? B) Do you have a girl friend? C) Do you use Clearasil? and D) Do you play with yourself on a nightly basis?
  • We really need to organize a race between Merkin, Bobby Z, and Joey D.
  • Speaking of Joey D... How do you stay in Vegas for a WEEK leading up to the Kentucky Derby and only manage to put five bucks down on a horse named after you? Nice work.
  • I don't care what he said, there's no way Korney wasn't cold in shorts and a t-shirt last Wednesday. I was cold just looking at him.
  • We all know Tony is a bit of a pretty boy with his hair, shoes, shirts etc., but please try to slide when you get near the plate. That is why you wear baseball pants in the first place.
  • What? What? That's it for now. FUCK this… I'm OUT!!!!


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