Volume one from the Short White Jewish guy
By Marc Brafman (and if you want, you can email Brafman at mbrafman@sportingnews.com)
Welcome to another exciting year of Random Notes! Without further delay, here we go…
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Forget Star Wars 3! Brafman is lining
up to see Lindsay and Herbie this summer!
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Big props to Bones for his great put-down of Randy in the morning meeting a few Fridays ago. When the subject of eye-brow waxing came up (due to the fact that Dustin recently had his done), Tony said it isn't that big of a deal to Randy since you know you need to get it done. Well done Tony, well done.
Why do I continue to find it funny when TJ calls Jeremy Burnitz "White Sosa"
Who has the worst looking legs? Joe Namath or Chet wearing shorts?
Softball is a weird game. How come we can't hit at all in one game, and then we blow out the next team like it's no big deal? Same players… same bats… weird game.
I'll be the first to stand corrected regarding Justin's move from center to short. Looks like a good move after two games.
I'd bet my Neil Young CD collection that we won't have another game like we had in the C League last week, in which Justin, Dom and Stelton combined to go 2-for-12 or something horrendous like that. That will never happen again.
As the longest married guy on the team, let me explain the different levels of being whipped when it comes to how you deal with your wife/fiancé. First, there is my level. I must check all of my financial transactions with Shana before I spend any of OUR money. Then there is Justin's level. Instead of coming to softball practice, Justin had to go pick up a desk for his house. But nothing comes close to Calderon's level. Calderon, in the middle of tossing batting practice, got a call from wife-to-be Julie. He tells us he has to go and immediately jogs off the field.
I think I speak for all Legends when I say that we're still waiting for Wetzel to come out and show us how he is going to hit a ball farther then Stelton. Since he didn't make it to practice this week, I guess we'll never know…
What is the over/under on Wheeler knocking somebody out (either from our team or our opponent) with a relay throw from the outfield? Two weeks… three?
With a new season of Random Notes comes a new season of Lindsay Lohan reports! I just saw the preview for her next movie, "Herbie: Fully Loaded." I can't think of a dumber preview, but there is something about her (boobs) that will make me go see it.
It most be tough being Brad Pitt and having to choose between Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie. We should all be so lucky.
From the Ambiguously Gay Duo file… While in Vegas a few weeks back, the word on the street was that Patrick and Paul got massages together at Mandalay Bay and took a steam together in the spa. It will be sad day when Paul moves out later this summer.
From the "We're All Getting Old" file… Kerry just walked in and said his legs were sore from softball and walking 18 holes of golf.
Hey Bernard, Arnie needs his wind screen
Man, the Reds really suck.
Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the newest member of the Legends, Nick Pinto! Nick, we hope you are better than Jake, Sweet Lou or Monty.
That's it for now. I'll do better next week. What??? You don't like them? Well, that's it! FUCK this… I'm OUT!!!!
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